When I was in middle school I was convinced that I’d have a huge family. I wanted to have my first baby young and adopt along the way. I was so passionate because I’d seen so many videos about these young moms and huge families. I grew up in a family of six and my mom had five brothers. So it seemed normal to me. But my mom quickly gave me a reality check. She wasn’t urging me to have kids or not. But she was urging me to not have kid young. A noble thought. Soon thereafter I realized the craziness I was spewing. When I was 12 I wanted kids for the idea of being recognizable. Now at 19, I’m not even sure I want kids. Maybe two but definitely not the double digit number I convinced myself of as a tween. Since then, I’ve learned that not having kids is completely normal. My uncle doesn’t have children, neither does my dad’s cousin. At that time I wanted kids because I thought it was the normal pathway. Now that I’m in college, I want to focus on my education and getting a grounding in my career. I’ve learned that I can’t predict and control each detail in my life. And sometimes, it’s just not in the cards for me. I can’t always be in the driver seat.